


Abscise

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Series: You'll have abs in no time. [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abusive Parent, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, mentions of suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 17:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17985305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: The reason why Jeremy doesn't want to tell his mother he's dating Michael.





	Abscise

Mrs. Heere splits when Jeremy is a sophomore in high school, but it's not like she vaporizes into thin air. She’s out there living her life, going to rehab, and doing whatever it is people who abandoned their children do. 

She turns up sometimes. Michael’s moms get a postcard from Florida about ten months after she leaves, almost four months before Jeremy hears anything from her. The first letter she sends Jeremy contains photos of her new kitten, tales of how difficult it is to be sober, and no return address. A drunken late night phone call follows, apologizing for lying about the kitten. She'd just wanted to seem put together, and she knew how much Jeremy liked cats. The kitten in the picture belonged to her new ex-boyfriend’s sister. 

Jeremy dutifully listens to it all, from the safety of Michael’s bed. He turns on speaker phone, and puts his finger to his mouth, gesturing for Michael to keep quiet. It isn't easy, especially as he watches Jeremy go from aloof and sarcastic to trying to comfort his mother as the phone call drags on, ‘cause yes of course it's reasonable to make up imaginary cats when you’re borderline suicidal, and yes Jeremy loves her and doesn't feel hurt by her absence, and of course the most important thing is for his mom to take care of herself and do anything she needs, anything at all. Jeremy loves her more than his dad, of course he does! And yeah, if she wants to send him a large portrait of herself to remind his deadbeat father of that, he’ll be sure to put it up somewhere prominent in the house, honest. Is Jeremy’s dad even getting dressed, she asks, and Jeremy has to admit that he isn't. That just goes to show that he doesn't care, assures Jeremy’s far off (but probably clothed) mother. 

“Okay, what _was_ that?” Michael asks, when Jeremy finally hangs up the phone. 

Jeremy shrugs. He's got this thing going, where his shoulders are hunched inward, and his face is fixed in a scowl. 

“But you just agreed with everything she said?” Michael continues, undaunted. Jeremy’s body tightens. Michael has seen Jeremy like this before. Best thing to do is talk him through it a bit, then get him stoned. 

“If she sends that photo, I'm flushing it down the toilet,” Jeremy says. 

“Bad plan. It’ll fuck with the plumbing.” 

“I'm burning it.” 

“Yeah. That’ll probably work better. Speaking of burning…” 

“I needed you to hear how weird everything she says is, in case I convince myself I'm making it up later, or making it bigger than it actually is. It _is_ weird, right?” 

“Mega weird,” Michael agrees. He should ask Jeremy if he's okay, but sometimes asking Jeremy that is what breaks him. Michael hands Jeremy a blunt instead. 

Over the coming months, Jeremy tries several times to contact his mom at that number again, but it’s out of service, and he fears the worst. His dad receives a passive aggressive valentines card in June, and for a while nothing else happens. 

Time passes. Junior year is a wild ride, to say the least. Senior year is significantly less heinous. For a while after the Squip incident, Jeremy dates Michael and Christine. Then, Christine removes herself from the romantic end of the equation, and Jeremy just dates Michael. 

Mrs. Heere pops up now and then. She's impossible to reach, but she reaches out according to her own schedule and whims. Jeremy always answers. He makes the right noises. He learns about her sordid past, chaotic present, and uncertain future. He rarely says a word about himself. 

A month after graduation, Mrs. Heere says she's in town and wants to take Jeremy out for a belated celebration meal. He chokes out his agreement, and asks if Michael can come too. Of course, Mrs. Heere agrees. Michael is practically like a second son to her! 

Jeremy briefs Michael on what not to say while they're getting ready. 

“We can't tell her about the Squip,” Jeremy says. 

“Got it.” Michael’s not about to question that. Seems Jeremy is keen to explain it anyway. 

“She'd want one if she knew. It wouldn't matter how bad it turned out for me. She'd want a quick fix. I'm sure she would.” 

“Then we won't tell her,” Michael promises. 

“Don't talk about my age. I'm hoping she's forgotten. She's been talking about relating to me as an adult since I was fourteen. If she knows I'm an actual adult now she’ll get creepier.” 

“She might’ve figured that one out on her own. She was kinda there when you were born and all.” 

“Still!” 

Michael makes a gesture, like he's zipping his lips. Jeremy is pacing. His hands are shaking. For all the shit that Mrs. Heere has pulled, Michael knows that she was never physically violent, yet Jeremy is so pale that he might as well be facing his own execution. 

“I don't want her to know you and I are together,” Jeremy says. 

Now, this one is a bit of a surprise. “I think she'd be fine with it,” Michael says, softly, because this is one fear of Jeremy’s that he can ease. “She was friends with my moms forever. She's a lot of things, but she's not homophobic.” 

“I don't want her to know,” Jeremy insists. 

Michael frowns. Unlike his mom, Jeremy was carrying a ton of internalized homophobia, right up until after the Squip, and even if it'd stemmed from Rich Goranski’s particular brand of bullying, consisting of an endless stream of gay jokes, it hadn't been exactly fun for Michael to watch Jeremy react to being called gay like it was the worst thing in the world. 

“Why _wouldn't_ you tell her?” Michael asks. “‘Cause I get that you’re going through a lot, and I'm here from you, but if you’re still embarrassed about us, then we’re gonna have some issues to talk about when this is over.” 

“That isn't it,” Jeremy says. 

“What is it then?” 

“It's her!” Jeremy spits out, so loudly that Michael has to lean back. “She doesn't get to know _shit_ about me. She doesn't get to go back to her friends, if she has any, and tell them that she's such a good, open-minded mother who loves her bisexual son. She does not get to ‘accept’ me now, because she doesn't accept me, and she doesn't care about anybody other than herself.” 

Jeremy is breathing hard by the time he finishes. He takes off his glasses, and rubs his hand down his face. Michael wants to hug him, but there's a knock at the door. Jeremy squares his shoulders, composing himself. “Ready for this?” he asks, his smile bitter and a little frantic. 

Michael nods. 

On the way out the door, he stops himself from reaching for Jeremy’s hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews incredibly appreciated.


End file.
